Everybody has their own preconceived notion about divorce, including many of our readers here in Spokane County. Most people assume that the process is going to turn into a bitter battle filled with bickering, hurt emotions and constant fighting. This stereotype is often perpetuated by horror stories that can be found on social sites the nation over.
But what most people do not realize is that there are a number of other emotions that come with divorce that are less discussed on the Internet. That’s why, in this week’s blog post, we wanted to take the time to discuss some of these things with our readers so that they won’t be caught off guard by them during their own divorce.
One thing to keep in mind is how you will react to your divorce. While both spouses may feel depressed after the split, men and women often have different reactions. Women often feel lonely and may see their work performance suffer. Men on the other hand may feel guilty or anxious and may use this as a reason to work harder. Either way, it’s important to point out that both spouses will experience emotions in their own way so just because your ex is not displaying the same emotions as you, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t feeling anything at all.
It’s worth noting that many people do not view marriage as a failed commitment but rather as a personal failure. It’s because of this guilt that can sometimes lead couples to feel as if they have to reconcile. While some couples may be able to prevent a divorce by reconciling before splitting, it’s worth noting that this isn’t the case for everyone. Getting your heart set on getting back together only to realize once more that the relationship doesn’t work is a disappointment no one should have to repeat unnecessarily.
Another important thing to consider when it comes to emotions and divorce is how the separation will affect your children. Children may not be able to cope as easily with a change in the family dynamic. Failing to address their feelings could lead to unresolved issues and even problems with closure.
Failing to address your own feelings can be just as problematic though, which is something we hope our readers will consider with their own divorce.
Source: The Coloradoan, “Squicquero: Divorce is difficult for all involved,” Sandi Squicquero, June 2, 2014