Going through a divorce is scary. Getting into a new relationship after the divorce is done might be an even more frightening experience, especially if you have children. Trying to date and then getting into a serious relationship requires mindfulness when you have children.
There are some ways that you can children adjust to the fact that someone new may be entering your family dynamic. Here are a few to get you started:
Take things slowly
Don't try to rush into a new relationship just to have companionship. Instead, make sure you are compatible with the person. Ideally, you will be able to let the relationship grow a bit before you introduce your children to the new person. This can help to prevent them from becoming too attached to a person who might walk away.
Consider the child's comfort
As you introduce your child to the person you are dating, make sure that you are monitoring your child's comfort level. You don't want to try to force your children to spend time with a person whom they aren't really ready to do this with. At first, you might consider joint trips so that everyone can spend time together. As time progresses, your child might feel more comfortable with the person. Taking things slowly can help your child to build a strong and long lasting relationship with him or her.
Consult your child custody order
When the relationship is serious, you might consider living together. At this point, you need to review your child custody order or parenting plan. There is a chance that it might forbid you from having overnight adult guests when your child is home unless you are married. Find out if this is the case and you may save yourself some trouble. The last thing that you need is a court battle based on the fact that you had someone spending the night at your home.
There may be times when you are tempted to compare your current relationship to the former one. If you do this, remember that you need to avoid belittling your ex within earshot of your kids. Even though things didn't work out with that relationship, that person is still your children's parent.
There is no reason to give your children cause to harbor negative thoughts about their other parent. Focus on remaining positive about the current relationship and reflecting on the good things that happened during the previous relationship.