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Divorcing blues? Here's how to cope when you're feeling down

As someone who never saw your divorce coming, you may feel hurt and upset about the entire thing. You might have thought your marriage was fine. Maybe you even suggested that you could work things out in a bid to keep your marriage together.

Regardless, you've now found yourself with an estranged spouse who isn't interested in staying together. They want to move on, and that means that you're forced to move on, too.

How do you cope when you don't want to divorce?

There are some healthy ways to cope if you're going through a divorce that you don't want. For instance, you can:

  • Take some private time away to collect your thoughts and work through your emotions
  • Focus on hobbies and activities that you enjoy
  • Stay in contact with positive people in your life
  • Go to a therapist to talk through what's happening

There are also some things you don't want to do. For example, you don't want to:

  • Refuse to negotiate with your spouse on the things that you need to divide upon divorce
  • Refuse to speak with your spouse or their attorney
  • Become aggressive or volatile to speak with about the divorce

While you're going through some difficult times right now, you have to remember that the way you approach the divorce makes a big difference, especially on the legal side. You want to be seen as a reasonable person. You want to be clear about what you want and need.

If it seems like you're being difficult for the sake of punishing your spouse or making life harder for them, it won't look good to a judge. You still need to do everything you can to make a good impression on the judge and anyone else working on this case.

How can you handle your stress, anger and frustration in court?

It can be hard to hold back if you go to a divorce trial and see the other party lying or asking for things they shouldn't be. It's in your best interests to allow your attorney to handle most things if you have to be in a courtroom. You should not speak unless you're spoken to, and you should try to stay calm and have an appropriate expression, even when the other party is making you angry or frustrated.

Take the time to find peace with your divorce before you reach the courtroom if you can. Once this is over, you can take more time to heal and move on.

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